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Standard operating procedure for me is to write a new post after I get six or more comments or if discussion has ended, pending time of course. Little bit of a revealing thing, I actually have a list of topics that I’ve always wanted to hit, but some are more relevant at one time or another, so that’s how I decide what to write on. One of those topics that’s been around for awhile is the idea of thinking versus feeling. I talked a bit last post about logic and reason, and how those are two things I value a lot in life. This is true—I believe a lot in logic and reason and their powers, and I feel like most of the decisions I make are based on that. In terms of decision making, that implies one thing: that I had time to consider all possible angles, consequences, and such. Of course, that is not always the case, as split second decisions are as commonplace for me as logical ones (or close to it). In cases of split second decisions, often we have to act without thinking, and we go on impulse, or feeling. The first important thing I’m going to say in this post, in my opinion, is that it is incredibly important that we trust our impulses and feelings. If we constantly try to take the time to reason every detail out, we paralyze ourselves. And, often, being unable to act is an action itself. I’m not saying to rush into situations and act without thinking, but I am saying to not waste time over thinking situations, because in my experience, that almost always hurts. It hurts for two reasons—first of all, you stress while you’re thinking, because as more time goes by, the more weight you place on your decision (regardless of how deserving the decision is), and second of all, often afterwards you realize it wasn’t a big deal, and that can lead to feelings of unimportance. For example, you place all this weight on who you take to prom, which seems like a big deal at the time, you make your decision, the other person goes with your friend and you end up dancing with them at the prom. Afterwards, you think, “How sad, that prom is the big decision in my life that I stress about,” and you get a little down on yourself. I’m not saying that prom’s not a big deal, just that when small stuff gets big, if it ever gets small again, that can be depressing. Now, if you followed that long paragraph and the nearly nonsensical statement following it, read on! The other thing “feelings” related that I want to talk about is our capacity to feel, and times where maybe feeling something is enough. A good example, for me, is music. Music is probably one of the areas where I use the least reason (at least, overtly and consciously). When I’m working on a song, I’ll throw a chord down and a note over it, and it either sounds good or it doesn’t, and that’s pretty fundamental, not much feeling involved there. Later on though, on the track when considering adding, for example, a sweeping strings section over the breakdown, I try it out and just feel that it doesn’t work. I’m certain I could come up with a reason, something like “it clashes with the bass line because of a, b, and c,” but I think it comes down to more than that. Some things feel right, and we do them because of that, even if we don’t know the reason or the logic behind why they do. I was watching Fantasia perform on American Idol tonight, and her voice gave me chills. Literally, it did—and I don’t mean to sound overdramatic, because that happens a lot, when I hear a particularly good combination of notes/chords/lyrics etc. I can’t tell you why it did, although apparently there is a genetic reason behind the chills (dead serious), but the fact that it did was enough. I mentioned how wonderful I thought she was to someone later, and they asked why I thought so. I could have said, “She hit every note, blasted some high ones, had great stage presence,” and gone on and on, but I know as you’re reading this that doesn’t come close to getting it right. Quite simply, I felt her song and her voice, and I loved that more than any particular details of her performance. I guess what I’m trying to say is that while reason and logic are powerful tools that can take us incredibly far in life, we must not fall into the habit of quantifying and analyzing everything. There are things that our descriptive capabilities cannot do justice, such as the performance I mentioned. I think in those situations to convey what we really mean we have to try and take the person back to a time where they felt what we did. “I felt like she was singing every word directly to me, and my heart was pounding,” could make another person think of another concert or another performance he or she saw, and could get it much more right than any technical or clear description could. It could be that there is always logical reason behind our feelings that we just haven’t identified yet, but who knows. There are times where feelings lead us right, especially when we don’t have time to consider and think. And sometimes explaining our feelings goes farther than explaining our reasons. Current Music: James Blunt, Natasha Beddingfield, Diamond Rio, Snow Patrol |
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Quite avowedly, I am an atheist. The way I came to this belief, or lack thereof, is fairly standard: I explored specific religions, couldn’t find one that was logical, fair, and brought me comfort, so I backed off and explored the nature of religion in general, and went through the same process. Eventually I decided that there was not only no reason to have no belief in a higher power, and until recently that was where I stood. Recently, I’ve come to believe that there are good reasonsfor a person not to believe in anything higher than himself or life in general. I wanted to explore some of these issues, and see if I could get some thoughts from any readers. This is by no means an attempt at conversion, just an explanation of my mind’s workings. In all my life, nothing miraculous has happened to me. By miraculous, I mean, nothing that could not be explained through a logical process involving reason. Certainly, my life is far better than many others’ lives—I have a stable family, am not poor, have good friends, live in a nice town, and so on—but I would never say that I am “blessed,” as I am sometimes told. For all of those things listed above, I have parents to thank, and their hard work and sacrifice, to me, is far more tangible than some abstract concept of the “blessing.” This brings up one of the major places where religion and I collide. To offer up your thanks to God, or the higher power, or the almighty, for good fortune or your happiness or whatever, demeans the people who are really responsible for it. I believe in giving credit where it is due, and in my life so far the credit for all of my success goes to parents, friends, teachers, and other people around me. To thank God for getting you home safe takes away from your friends who got you there, to thank God for your good upbringing takes away from your parents, etc. When we start explaining away things as God’s will, we essentially avoid them. As I mentioned before, to explain good things away as divine rewards takes away from the work done (yours and others’) to earn them. By the same token, to explain bad things away as divine punishment lets us do the same, and causes us to miss lessons where they need to be learned. For a trivial example, I have heard people say in four square that a person got out because of some previous action, i.e. Simon Birching a girl or something to that extent. Now, logically, and I hope no readers disagree with me, that action is in the past and is incapable of returning and having any effect. The person got out because in the point after he hit the ball outside of the lines. The lesson to be learned is to control your stroke, not that you shouldn’t hit the ball at a girl’s face (though that could be learned separately). Cause and effect has to be seen directly, otherwise the important experiences go unnoticed, and mistakes are made over and over again. The random nature of events occurring seems to counter any evidence for a divine plan. For example, if a teenage girl who attended religious ceremonies once a week, prayed every night, was a straight A student, athlete, kindhearted, and was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident, how can we say that she deserved what she received? The religious person tends to say “it’s God’s will,” but that’s one coldhearted God that would take such a life. “She’s in a better place,” is often used to make those surviving her feel better, but I don’t really like that one either. I think those phrases I mentioned before are too passive. Instead of explaining things away and chalking them up to God, why don’t we fight drunk driving? Or work on raising money for cancer? Why don’t the events that jar us inspire us to work for change? That’s a question I ponder often. I could go into the ideas of taking things based on faith, as opposed to having reason, and how ridiculous it is to believe something you have no good reason to believe. I could go into the ideas of how God seems to be a sadist, as we can gather from descriptions of hell. I could go into contradictions evident in religion. But instead of taking all that time, I refer you to Atheism: The Case Against God, by George Smith, which is extremely reasonable and logical, and essentially impossible to disagree with on a logical level. The only thing I want to mention before I end this post, which is probably just the first of many to be interspersed in my other posts, is the reputation atheists have. It intrigues me. Much of religion is used as mind control—to try and lead people down a certain path, which I grant you is often the path of good and kind action. But one belief ingrained through the mind control machine is that there is no such thing as atheism. Often I hear, you must believe in something higher than yourself, a higher self, a higher plan, a higher something. To this statement, I ask a simple question: why? Is it so frightening to believe that the life we know is all there is? Would you not be a good person if you weren’t afraid of punishment after this life? Could it be that what I do has no effect on me after I’m gone, but only affects the people I leave behind? Is that not enough? I think it is. Life becomes so much more precious—and I, for one, am a million times more inspired to leave my mark on this world because I believe that this is the one chance I have to make a difference to someone else. This post outlines some of my reasons for my beliefs, and outlines a few of my beliefs themselves. What I really wanted to do with this post, though, is offer a glimpse into the mind of someone who lacks belief, because atheism is so quiet and so shunned in America and around the world. Atheists are mistrusted and hated because they are misunderstood and because the people who do the mistrusting and hating are misinformed. We are seen as immoral, crude, unrefined, self-centered, and such, when in fact those are purely lies meant to keep people’s minds closed. There’s nothing I hate more than when people do that. I won’t tell you what to believe or what belief not to have. But I urge you to seriously consider everything there is to consider about this matter—consider what you believe and why you believe it, and decide whether your beliefs are reasonable. And whatever conclusion you draw, please, don’t force it on anyone else. |
It has been quite awhile since my last update, as I was out of the country for awhile and also celebrating the fact that I got into college, but today, on the first day of 2007, I figured I would take just a moment to reflect a bit on 2006.
In 2006, I discovered something that I had known for a long time but never truly embraced. To put it simply, I realized just how much I like words. I had always known that I liked to write, and talk, and had even dabbled in speaking in public, but I had never really appreciated fully what it was about those activities that made me enjoy them. It became clear to me as I began writing college essays, which I came to regard with a mix of dread and joy—dread, because of the timelines, the things I had to sacrifice to spend time writing them, joy, because I usually learned something about myself as I wrote them. Everyone in college or in the application process has probably come across at least one question that made you think, or reevaluate yourself, or have to tangibly express things you had known all along. This certainly happened for me.
I wrote an essay about how I like to describe things in my head when I see them, and how putting sights to words made it easier for me to appreciate the sights. And, when I translate sights into words, I often thing about how they sound, saying the words to myself and seeing if the sight and sound can go hand in hand. I gave the essay to a teacher to proof-read, and in the midst of a sea of green marking, she wrote one statement that opened my eyes. “Since this essay is about your love of words, I suggest you rethink a few word choices.”
Love of words. I had never thought of it that way, but when I read it, it made plenty of sense. It explained a lot of things about me—some things I see as virtues, and some otherwise. I want to talk about some of those things today.
I’ll start with a virtue, because I’m going to put off verbalizing my vices for self-esteem’s sake. Forgive the obvious statement, but words are essential to communication. I know that 50% or 90% or whatever of communication is non-verbal, but the fine details—how your conversation begins, where it goes, the way you affect the people you’re talking to—are contingent upon the words and phrasing you use. I’m not at all talking about making yourself seem intelligent by using big words, but more referring to things like the tact you use, when you state something bluntly, when you use words or pauses for dramatic effect (i.e. cursing, which I do a lot), etc. Since I think about the words I use when I’m in conversation, often after I determine what kind of person I’m talking to, I find it easier to communicate with them in terms that they understand. It makes it easier for me to relate to all different kinds of people, which I think is a strength.
Another thing I like about words, which is not necessarily a virtue, is the fact that they affect me strongly, in many cases. There have been at least two, maybe more, entries that were purely inspired by song lyrics—words make me think. And often, when I’m on one of my relentless rampages of thought, (a.k.a. daydreaming), I draw some interesting conclusions about myself and other things in the process.
Now, to the vices. In 2006, I read a book for my English class called Howard’s End. Or at least, I read it until it became so dull that I would read a few pages, start to doze, and finish with the cliff notes. There was one major thing that stuck with me from the book, and that was when we were discussing the title. Our teacher separated the syllables. Try it, and see the phrase you come up with. Find anything?
“How Words End,” was what he came up with. I don’t know about you, but I was impressed—I would never have thought of that. Anyway, discussion ensued and we eventually came to a conclusion. “Words end when you come up against a fact.” Take the word “water,” and think of all the ways that it can be written—“water,” “agua,” “aqua,” and so on. All of those words refer to something, but what the something exactly is can get skewed or lost in translation, and can spark endless debates over what the word “water” means (there are no endless debates about that word in particular, I’m just using it as an example). However, there is no debate whether something is “water” when you see it, touch it, feel it. Once you have the substance within range of your senses, words end, and the fact is what remains.
There is somewhat of a contradiction in the fact that words end, but I still use them to put sights into a more tangible form for myself. At times, I get my descriptions wrong. The words and the fact disagree. In these cases, I have to step back and reevaluate my words, and usually what I find is that I attempted to something that I did not truly understand or know into words. Naturally, only half knowing or not at all knowing something, one could not proceed to give a verbal description of it. This has caused me some grief throughout life—as when I have tried to put things into words, such as feelings or emotions, that I didn’t understand, I ended up straying from the fact.
So my resolution for the new year is to try and verbalize only once I have come up against some fact or reality. I think this will help me avoid situations where I’m treading in uncharted territory, while still allowing me to use the words I love when appropriate.
I know I ignored other vices, such as verbosity, or my getting tongue tied if I talk before I think, but this is quite a long entry, so you’ll have to forgive me.
2007 promises to be an eventful year. The final six months of high school for many, the end of the first year of college for others, the beginning of the process for others still. Graduation, senior summer, entrance into college awaits, along with a senior project that has much promise. Chris Botti, The Fray, and others await me, along with more friend time and so many other things that I can’t take the time to name.
In comment form, leave me not just your thoughts on this entry (if you’ve made it this far), but also your new y ear’s resolution—there are rare times, I dare say, when verbalizing things can go a long way to making them real. I wish all of you the best for this year. |
I know a lot of people will be able to relate to this entry, because pretty much everyone has been in the kind of situation I’m going to describe. Basically, you feel as if you have to or you actually have to make someone else happy, and do what that person or those people want you to do. It’s a situation which we all find ourselves in at some point, because (unfortunately for all young women) life cannot always be about us. At times, we have to think about what is best for those in our care, members of our teams, or members of our families. In moderation, a little forced selflessness isn’t a bad thing—in fact, it can even have a positive effect on us by reminding us of the world outside.
But, when a person tries to set his or her own happiness completely aside in favor of someone else’s wishes for a long period of time, the end result is going to be a catastrophic failure. I hate to deal in inevitabilities, but bar any brainwashing, a person cannot make other people happy for long unless the person himself is happy. I’m not sure why this is. It may be because we as humans are naturally jealous of others’ good fortune, and providing others with that good fortune at the cost of our own is hard to put up with. It may be because misery loves company and eventually our misery inadvertently makes its way into the lives of those we try to please. I think it is because happiness spreads and if you don’t have any to give anyone else, you’re going to fall apart.
Lots of examples come to mind. Anyone who’s applying to college has faced the pressures, and while I feel no overbearing pressure, I know a lot of people do. There’s pressure from parents to apply to certain schools, and most people naturally want to make parents proud. Sometimes parents feel the same pressure to make their kids happy and sacrifice everything for that, or spouses do the same thing, but more often than not, they end up breaking down.
My advice to anyone is not to be hedonistic, but to pursue your own happiness, at least to a moderate extent. I honestly believe that a person cannot be productive and successful if he or she is simply trying to please others. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy when you are not costing anyone else anything. And, people who expect or want you to be miserable so that they can be happy, and are conscious of your misery, are not the people worth pleasing.
Be happy. Everyone (I hope) has been happy as some point, and I think everyone knows how much better life is for you and those around you when happiness is part of the equation. |
Note: some spoilers into the text of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness follow. If that would kill you, DO NOT READ!
The Right to Lie
“There is a taint of death, a flavour of mortality in lies – which is exactly what I hate and detest in the world – what I want to forget,” (Conrad 27). Lies are ubiquitously condemned by all cultures and nearly all people agree that to lie is wrong and immoral, an ideal that is espoused by the character Marlow in Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness in the aforementioned quotation. Yet, recent studies of one such culture show that many people believe there are times when it is right to lie. For example, 65% of Americans believe that it is sometimes all right to lie, and one respondent even went so far to say, “Not only is lying justified, it is sometimes a moral duty,” http://www.beliefnet.com/story/195/story_19553_1.html). More than half of those same people, however, 52%, claimed to believe that lying is never justified in a separate question. Clearly, society has conflicting views concerning lying, with these conflicting views often resulting in people’s telling lies even when they feel it is morally wrong to do so. Marlow’s lie to Kurtz’s Intended, telling her that her name was the last word that ever escaped Kurtz’s lips, is a strong example of a person’s ability to go against his moral code when he feels the act is justified.
From Marlow’s conversation with Kurtz’s Intended, he realizes that the woman’s love for Kurtz is all that she was holding on to in life. Marlow “hears distinctly” her “despairing regret” (Conrad 74), as he speaks to her, and also realizes what regard she had for Kurtz. “It was impossible to know him and not to admire him,” the Intended cries, and refers to him as “great” (Conrad 74). While they speak, is it obvious to Marlow that all the woman is made up of are her feelings and beliefs in Kurtz, which he describes as being manifested in an “unextinguishable light of belief and love,” (Conrad 74). Marlow’s two observations—that love and belief in Kurtz are what keep the Intended alive, and that her love and belief in him offer an “unextinguishable light”— allude to the two reasons why Marlow lies to the woman.
Both reasons can be explained by the Heart of Darkness that Marlow encounters while in the Congo. Marlow determines the Heart of Darkness to be the primal nature of humanity According to Marlow, “[Kurtz’s stare] could not see the flame of the candle but was wide enough to embrace the whole universe, piercing enough to penetrate all the hearts that beat in the darkness,” (Conrad 70). Kurtz judges these hearts in the darkness with his true last words, “The horror!” Marlow realizes that at its most basic point, human nature lacks compassion, a truly horrifying conclusion to a civilized person. Marlow’s drawing this conclusion leads to the first reason he tells the lie—he is being compassionate and giving the woman something to hold on to, in his eyes being compassionate by fulfilling her request for “something…to live with,” (Conrad 74). The second reason he lies to the woman also arises from his conclusion that in human nature is a Heart of Darkness, in that Marlow sees her love and belief as a light that can counter the darkness in the human heart. Marlow encounters and observes this darkness, and is frightened of it, so since he does not want that darkness to have a hold on any human, he lies to prevent the Intended from letting go of what it is that keeps the darkness from consuming her.
Whether the lie is right or wrong is impossible to judge without bias. One who believes a lie is always wrong would say that Marlow had no right to deny the woman the truth—that she had a right to face reality and respond to the truth. One who believes that a lie can be justified by motives would argue that Marlow was fighting a greater evil, the Heart of Darkness, by telling his lie. The two major deterrents from telling lies for most people are the repercussions, which cannot be explored using Heart of Darkness, and moral opposition to the act. For Marlow, however, experiences with the darkness of human nature lead him to believe that such darkness is more immoral and more evil than a lie, a decision no man can reach without experiencing the Heart of Darkness firsthand. |
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I was listening to a song today by my favorite lyricist/poet, the lead singer of Thrice, Dustin Kensrue, and for some reason was paying extra attention to his always thought provoking lyrics. Painting a picture of men off on a voyage, he begins by telling of how far from home the men are. Then, he refers back to those waiting for them, saying, “We’re on their hearts and minds / A million heads are bowed to bring us safely home.” Now, knowing that Kensrue is a religious man, I took the “heads bowed” as being bowed in prayer. As the song continues, he describes those on the voyage as “hemmed in by emptiness / A million ways that everything could be undone,” telling of their hopelessness. As the verse completes and the chorus begins, he offers up a bit of hope, and then says, “We are not alone / We feel an unseen love.” From the song, I gathered that those away gained strength from that unseen love, presumably God or whatever higher power watching over them. Yet, I couldn’t help but think about the “million heads” bowed in prayer that he had mentioned before. Perhaps those men took strength not just in their faith, but in the tangible prayers that they knew were being offered up on their before. Perhaps the prayers didn’t just influence God to help the men, perhaps it was the prayers themselves that did the trick. The reason I looked to this conclusion wasn’t necessarily because I don’t believe in God, but rather because I have found that often, when I know that people are on my side and are wishing me well, I feel a renewed determination and drive to succeed. I’m somewhat of a people pleaser, so if what the people want is my success, I take it as added incentive to succeed.
Now, this can manifest in many different ways. There is the more surreal feeling of “strength” that is essentially a boost in confidence. It is pretty much proven, and I don’t think many people would disagree with me on this, that if you are confident in yourself and your situation, you perform better and thus things seem to run more smoothly. An increase in confidence can even lead to a decrease in feelings of pressure and doubt—two factors which tend to kill efficiency and performance. Another way the well-wishes of others can have an effect on someone is in a more physical sense. The example I’m going to use is when lifting weights, though in my case that’s a bit ironic. Often when a person feels completely burnt out, the person spotting them or helping them lift offers words of encouragement. They are just that, words. It isn’t as if the person is helping get that last rep in. Yet, much of the time those words help the weight lifter produce a little more strength that he may have before doubted was in him.
About a year ago, I heard someone say as a comforting gesture, “I’m praying for you.” At the time, I thought it worthless. Now that I look back on it though, I think it may indeed have helped the person in need by helping him feel a little less alone and a little less doubtful of himself. I think it is important, if you are hoping for someone else’s success, to let them know, because it may have a few of the aforementioned effects. I think it is another manifestation of “strength in numbers,” and I think that if presented in the right way, it can only help.
The right way would be to tell the person in a fashion that does not place any pressure on them. Don’t say, “You have to do this,” or “This will be easy for you,” because the former increases pressure and the latter can increase doubt, if in fact the task proves to be difficult. Rather, let the person know that you’re supporting them. “I’m pulling for you,” or “I’ve got your back,” or, “I believe in you and believe that you can do this,” is much more supportive and much more positive.
So, next time you have a friend in trouble or have a friend who is facing a difficult time ahead, let them know that you hope they will get through it, and let them know that you believe in them. Aside from just being comforting, it may even be inspiring.
Aug. 10th, 2006 @ 02:32 pm
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| » Whatever it Brought |
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Sorry I'm too lazy to write an essay, so I'm leaving you a poem that summarizes what the essay may have been about. Leave a comment on what you get out of it, please.
This poem's called Whatever it Brought:
Glad that I could be of service,
Glad that I could help,
The reason for my existence,
To lead you to yourself,
Glad that I could please you,
Pleased that you could tease me,
But now that I have seen you,
You are going to leave me.
Desires are now clarified,
Mirrored in the knife,
And if the time comes tonight,
Where you must take my life,
Don’t think twice.
Hopefully you see it now,
Hopefully you know,
Hopefully you looked within,
And found you have no sol.ace in,
Nights spent searching,
Through the comfort worn by lies,
A blanket which was wrapped around you,
With a smile that never reached your eyes.
Your mark around my wrist,
The lie you told in every kiss,
Would have led me to believe,
Would you please tell me this:
Was all of it a lie?
I wouldn't be surprised,
See, honestly I never loved you,
Here's your kiss goodbye.
And if the time comes tonight,
Where you must take my life,
Don’t think twice.
Jul. 30th, 2006 @ 09:42 am
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| » Real |
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We will never be special, you and I. We will never be anything to remember. We will never be talked about, or written about, or read about, or sung about, because we aren’t unique. We aren’t trying to be. We just want to be ourselves, and, hell, if that doesn’t shatter the world, so be it. We just want to live the lives we feel like living, and be the people we naturally tend to be, because anything else would be a lie. Then, we’d have to face this puzzling question—is it actually appealing to be remembered for being someone you weren’t? We don’t think so. We are real. We are real.
Every day, I wake up and turn on the television and come face to face with someone who the world credits as being “unique.” Our faces are actually the same size—my TV isn’t big enough to classify me as the disgustingly rich, or small enough to classify me as the astoundingly broke—but the differences between us are pretty marked. He has blue hair and three holes in each ear, and the girl alongside manages to outdo him. You can’t see his face behind the veneer of uniqueness.
“How does it feel to know that kids out there look up to you?” the pretty blonde host asks.
“Oh, man, we just do it for the kids out there, because they are the ones, man. They’re the ones. It’s all about the future, man,” he replies, saying nothing with many words, while both the girl with him and the host nod as if they understood, and the crowd goes crazy at the sound of his voice.
Kids look up to him? That’s a joke. Kids don’t want to be anything like him. They don’t want blue hair or Swiss cheese ears. No, they just want to be seen as special, as different, and for God’s sake, if they have to die their hair a brighter shade of blue than him, they will. In the world today the more individual you seem, the more respect you earn, the more people like you, and if you’ve got a little fame, the more that people like you the more money you bring in. Kids today don’t realize that as blue as his hair might be, all he cares about is the green.
So they imitate. People think they’re creative. People think they’re expressing themselves. People think they’re unique. People think they’ve got style. I think they’ve just dug themselves into a hole caused by a lack of self-confidence, and instead of trying to get out by figuring out who they are, they try to hide behind a mask of pseudo-originality and hope that nobody sees the hole around them.
I’m not trying to be different because I know I’ll fail. I’m not fenced in by some brick wall of normality—I can see and do new things—but I’m not trying to cover up every inch of who I am because it’s too average. All blue-hair has managed to do is set a standard that unless you’re the only one wearing the hat you wear, you’re just like everybody else, and God forbid that happen. In reality, the people who buy into that are the ones who are like everybody else—insecure, and so wrapped up in being different that he ends up doing what everybody else does. Just a variation on the theme.
When people stop questing after being different, that’s when something new that has a little soul will show up. Right now, all we have is a bunch of people attempting to be that “something new,” and to that I say, “If you’re trying to be it, you aren’t it.” Someday somebody will show up and he’ll be different, not just act different. He won’t hate normality or shun it, he’ll embrace it and mold it into his own style. He’ll take normality to a new level, and when that becomes normal, someone else will do the same thing that he did. But until everyone else stops pretending to be what they aren’t, we’ll never be able to tell what’s real and what’s forced.
Jul. 2nd, 2006 @ 12:39 am
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| » Ten Things I Hate |
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10 Things I hate:
1) The College Board:
This supposedly helpful and studious and wonderful organization is a total scam. They take people’s money, provide services that are unnecessary for a student who’s dedicated enough, and act as a middle man during the time when direct contact is needed. The College Board sets the standards for students—not the colleges, and they have created a business out of these standards with their review books, study guides, online courses, and more. Yet due to their academic nature, they have earned this prestige that is shattered should one go below the surface. For heaven’s sake, Microsoft Word grammar check made me underline college and board. I hate the college board.
2) Individually wrapped candy:
Starburst and Jolly Ranchers are some of the most amazing inventions of all time. However, for an environmentally conscious person such as myself, the wrappers pose a problem. I can’t just throw them on the ground, but I’m far too lazy to find a trash can. I could put them in my pocket, but then when I’m trying to, say, pull my cell phone out of my pocket a starburst wrapper falls out and I look like a slob. The ultimate result? I don’t get to enjoy the little delight inside of the devilish plastic. I hate it when candy is individually wrapped.
3) When people make out with their significant others in public places:
So you’re getting some. The fact that you show up with a girl is clue enough, and if you really needed to stress it, put an arm around her or hold her hand. By no means is it necessary for you to disengage from a conversation when she shows up and proceed to stick your tongue down her throat. I’ll be trying to eat lunch, or walking down the hallway, or walking through the mall, and I can’t help but notice people displaying private affection in a public place. On behalf of everyone who respects decency or has no special someone in their life, please take your locked-door behavior to a locked door. I hate when people start making out in front of me.
*Note* - The whole, “look away if you don’t like it” argument doesn’t work with me. You are sorely outnumbered in this regard, and if you really think that a hundred people should consciously avoid watching two people, you’re pretty selfish.
4) When I am hitting on a girl and someone calls me out on it in that girl’s presence:
I’m talking to a girl, perhaps throwing out some compliments, or just all around being flirtatious, and a person nearby, either involved in the conversation or not involved in the conversation remarks, “Wow, a little flirting going on over here.” Your powers of observation serve you well, young Padawan, but the only thing is, I ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING! There’s a decent chance that the other person did too. So the only thing you accomplish in saying that is making the conversation go from fun and carefree, to awkward and forced. Furthermore, that kind of comment produces a negative cloud over the whole affairs and can even do lasting damage to the future. And with that inane comment, something that was going well is now not going. I hate when people comment on flirtation when both parties are present.
5) The way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
I mean, he’s giving them a thousand dollars—there is no need to pad that with some odd trademark phrase. Matter of fact, for a show that uses catch phrases as a premise, there are a lot of attempts at trademark phrases, such as, “Do YOU have what it takes to represent yo’ hood,” and such. It is almost as if they are attempting to make their show have some kind of memorable moments, but in the end they just seem to be forced. I like the guy, but he really needs to work on his phrases. I hate the way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
6) Choking:
The choking I’m referring to is the kind of choking that occurs on match point in the third set tiebreaker. The things that originally came easily to you become difficult, and you are completely unable to attempt the things that might have been considered difficult in the first place. As a result, the guy you’re playing seems to suddenly become God, hitting winners and completely taking advantage of the fact that you have become passive and a total spectator. Being a person who, in tennis, chokes a whole lot, I have grown to dread those deuce points, and the next point wins rule. Furthermore, it’s a hard thing to get over, considering controlling choking is like taming a lion; this is a funny analogy because the choking process seems to tame the lion once roaring in us. I hate choking, but I keep doing it.
7) When people have music on their Myspaces:
You click on their myspace, with the intent to leave a nice comment or tell them that you consider them a friend, and what are you greeted with? A million decibels of sound, of a song that I probably didn’t want to listen to in the first place, and even if I did, I didn’t want to be so surprised by it that I end up with a heart attack. The very least the people who write these codes could do is allow for a few seconds of delay before the music kicks in. That way, after I hit “post comment” I could scramble and turn the music off, but no, instead, immediately the screaming or distorted guitars or whatever it is kicks in and my ears cry. I hate when people have music on their Myspaces.
8) Eavesdroppers:
I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody. That somebody isn’t you, and there’s a reason for that. So as Deep says, “GTFO!” It’s unbelievably annoying when I’m talking to someone, and then have another person tell me about a conversation I have. The only conclusion is that some listening ears saw fit to broadcast my conversation like a talk show. I believe that eavesdroppers are simply upset about their own lack of conversation so they tune into others. From where I stand, I wish they’d at least have the decency to interrupt their way into the conversation so I know that they are there. Better that than be a little bird in the shadows that takes pleasure in seeing others’ words taken out of context. I hate when people eavesdrop.
9) People who take things too personally:
I crack a lot of jokes about human nature and why people do what they do. More often than not recently I make jokes about the destructive nature of women. Yet, much of the time, I’ll make an ambiguous comment about women or men and some quality that is common to the gender, or some comment about how people always tend to react a certain way, and the person I’m talking to will get mightily offended. At first, I thought people just wanted to stick up for their species, but in fact, it is simply that people think that I’m attacking them. Now, if you see those non-endearing qualities in yourself, I’m sorry, but that’s not my problem nor do I care about it. I just like to generalize. I hate when people take things too personally.
10) Coldstone:
“Hey let’s go to Coldstone!” It would seem that that’s everyone’s favorite phrase, but in fact, there is at least one person, namely me, for whom those words inspire a heavy sigh. Being the nice guy that I am, I’m not about to respond to that phrase with, “Sweet I get to get a soda!” and ruin some excitement. There is absolutely nothing I can consume at Coldstone. Ben and Jerry’s is Niraj friendly, offering not one, but two non-dairy options. Tropical smoothie also attracts customers from both sides. But Coldstone? It chooses to simply target the majority and woo them with delectable offerings and hope that the average person doesn’t notice the discrimination and injustice going on there. Well, I have news for them. People started to notice racism. People started to notice age discrimination. People started to accept homosexuals. This won’t last. I hate Coldstone.
EDIT!!!!***
I owe Coldstone an apology. They do have a non-dairy option, and twice I have consumed it and twice it was delicious. The third time I got sick, but that was my own fault. Coldstone has one non-dairy substitute, and while it is nowhere near the variety other establishments provide, it is a step in the right direction, and it is a reason for me to let go of my hate.
Coldstone, I am sorry.
May. 17th, 2006 @ 06:49 pm
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10 Things I Love:
1) Tea and its variations:
A lot of Indian people love tea, because of the British influence, so maybe I’m just predisposed to it, but tea, especially iced and flavored, is like magic to me. I was at CPK today, and the waitress taunted me with a Mango Iced Tea. Mango! I was adventurous and tried it, and let me tell you, it was delicious. Tea is a versatile substance, ranging from the flavored hot teas, which every country can put its own spin on, to the iced teas, to flavored ice teas, with or without caffeine…the list goes on and on. With so many different combinations, it never gets old. I love tea.
2) iPods:
iPods are the one thing Apple did right. The idea of being able to have so many songs at one’s disposal is brilliant, in Apple made this idea a reality in a spectacular fashion. With the exception of battery life, iPod is nearly flawless. It’s easy to use in conjunction with iTunes, and Apple wasn’t mean enough to make a person use a Mac in order to have an iPod. The simplicity of use has led to the iPod becoming a favorite among people of all different demographics, uniting people in the common love of music. Customizable, dependable, and versatile, the iPod provides companionship in a myriad of forms where previously none could be found. I love my iPod.
3) Guys who aren’t afraid to dress in a classy manner:
Life is about expressing yourself. Different people do it in different ways, and a completely legitimate way is in clothing. If you want to send the message to the world that you are a stoner with your dress and look, go for it! At the same time, respect the guy who wants to show that he’s got class and style. All the time, I’ll wear a collared shirt and jeans on a dress down day and I’ll hear, “It’s a dress down day, Niraj!!11” Well, the jeans obviously show that I knew that. I just wanted to add a little style to my look. Of recent, wearing bright colors seems to mean you’re a homosexual. I would wager, though, that more people wear bright colors than are homosexual. People should just accept that someone wants to dress how he wants to dress, and let him do it. I love guys who dress well and aren’t afraid to do it.
4) T9 word:
The text message’s best friend, and the reason I do it instead of just calling someone. I can send a t9 message rather quickly, and these days I don’t even have to look at it. I can even send a message from my phone when it’s in my pocket, the process is that easy. The creators of t9 should pride themselves on the boom in text messaging, because if it took as long as it did when you had to type every letter in and look for the “next” key if you wanted to right the word “mom,” text messaging wouldn’t be nearly as popular as it is today. Now all they need to do is at curse words to the list of programmed words and life will be grand. I love t9 word.
5) Cursing as a means of enhancing hilarity:
Let’s face it—as immoral and dirty as it is, it’s funny when people curse. The words are effective in eliciting laughs, especially in a situation where they are meant in a casual manner. Emphasis on them is especially funny, for example, the way Spruiell says “I don’t give a f***!” with an accent on the last syllable. The movie Blade: Trinity, used cursing tremendously effectively, in the fact that pretty much every other utterance contained some profanity. They even brought out the old method of, “use curse words in a novel fashion that just makes the statement funny,” which had me laughing from start to finish. At the end of the day, they are just words, and they can create some truly funny moments. I love when cursing is used in funny ways.
6) Words, the Latin dictionary:
The computer and its quick access information style was and still is a revolutionary idea. It brings warmth to my heart to see the classics merged with new technology in such a fashion. Words allows a Latin scholar to translate much more effectively and efficiently, because with it one can simply type in a word and know where he is going with his translation. The classics truly are beautiful, and deserve to be read by as many people as possible. I love Words, because it makes this dream a reality.
7) Hanging up on people:
What an emphatic way to end a conversation. When timed right, such as when the person on the other end of the phone is in mid sentence, it sends a message that words, even specific words for the occasion, could never say. It is imperative, when you do hang up on someone, not to lose nerve. When they call back, even if you’ve reconsidered your decision don’t backtrack with, “my signal faded.” Quickly establish that you’ve hung up on the person and then continue. Should you need to hang up again, do not answer the return call. Just be careful when you hang up that the conversation is either over and you’re done talking, or be sure that you know the person will call back. I love hanging up on people.
8) Disney:
This actually has nothing to do with the Little Mermaid party, but I’m a huge Disney fan. Disney has mastered the art of telling a simple story and sending a great message through it. Disney stories incorporate many themes—love, sadness, loss, importance of family, and more. Furthermore, Disney isn’t afraid to give a story a happy ending, as it seems most family movies or sports movies are totally unable to do. Recently, Disney has severed ties with McDonalds, because it doesn’t want ties to childhood obesity. That dedication to their cause of bringing families together and promoting children’s interests is tremendously admirable. I said all of that, and I’m still neglecting to mention the memorable music of Disney films. I love Disney.
9) Exceptionally good words:
I was going to say, “really good words,” but I figured that would be a little ironic. There are some words that are totally abstract, that have a far superior effect to more ubiquitous words. You not only garner surprise and confusion and appreciation for your newly displayed intellect, you also have the advantage in the fact that the person you’re talking to has no idea what you’re talking about. Because of that, the person can’t respond, for fear of looking like an idiot, so if you’re in an argument, it’s a good strategy. It also helps to know the words in case you encounter a charlatan who seeks to mislead you, so you can expose him as the fake. I love good words.
10) Responsive people:
I throw up a quotation in Italian on my away message, a leave a message to translate it. There are some amazing people out there who actually tried. Some put in more effort than others, actually using their skills to attempt it, while others used Google, but all of them are wonderful people. They are the ones who comment on the livejournals, care enough to be observant of those around them, and, I would hope, are rewarded for their greatness. They are wonderful to talk to, because when you speak to them they actually engage in the conversation, as opposed to simply listening and occasionally commenting. I love responsive people.
May. 17th, 2006 @ 06:49 pm
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